Random Things My Friends Ate Today

I sense a disturbance in the blog…

As though millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, at the thought that they might never see the 100th post…

…and were suddenly silenced.

Hi everyone!
As I’m sure you’ve noticed, this is officially my 100th post! I know it shouldn’t really be that big a deal; Tom passed his without even noticing. But hey, any excuse for a party! No-one’s gonna rain on my parade! I guess the title doesn’t actually bear any relevance to the post itself, but I promised to include everything on the checklist. And if it works for Fall Out Boy, it works for me. Oh yeah, incidentally, I found out on Twitter that they’d just visited Skywalker ranch. How awesomely geeky is that?
Before we get into the post properly, let’s run down some statistics. Over the last 99 posts I have used 48,306 words, not counting titles. That’s almost fifty thousand words! Wow, that’s quite incredible. I’ve mentioned Doctor Who 33 times, which is surprising, ’cause I thought it would be more than that. I’ve visited every part of the emotional scale, loved, lost, loved again… lost again, found new music, recommended old music, been to Spain and Russia, followed the whole of Heroes Season 3, written songs, acted in plays, reviewed, previewed, commented, questioned, liked, disliked, and somehow, through all of that, I still have my nine faithful followers. Nine, why is that significant? Oh yeah, Ringwraiths. Hehehe… Well, for everyone who’s hung on for dear life through thick and thin, here is the 100th episode. And it’s a good’un. So pull up a pew, grab a hefty chunk of birthday cake, and let me tell you a story…

About a week ago, I was sitting at home, with nothing in particular on my mind… when the most unusual thought struck me.

Why do I like what I like?

Weird, huh? But it’s a valid question. How can the same guy who listens to Jack Johnson, reads and people-watches, also listen to Muse, enjoy Iron Man and (at least try to) go to parties? I know some people have often puzzled over my confused tastes, but I’ve never really been bothered to think about them myself. Now that I come to think of it, it’s almost like someone listening to 90s Emo bands one minute, and chilling out in Starbucks the next. I mean, it’s perfectly acceptable within the laws of nature, but the unwritten laws of society are sadly less forgiving.
So after much beard-stroking and puzzling, I deduced that there could be only thing to blame for this attraction, to music, to places and habits, to people, even to accents and clothes. And that thing, wherever it came from, was the Funk.
I’d suspected for a long time that there had been one single quality binding the majority of my preferences and interests together, and now I could be certain. Just don’t ask me to describe “the Funk”. It’s hard to pin down exactly what it is, but I suppose you could say it’s the common factor in Fall Out Boy, Covent Garden and the 10th Doctor’s big brown coat. You know it from experience; it’s like the Force, a common element binding every single thing in the world together. Some are stronger in the Funk than others. But it’s there in everyone. Unlike the Force, however, you can’t manipulate it yourself. At least, I didn’t think you could…
However, the next day I went down to my local library. It’s just some backwater place miles from civilisation (those who know where I live will get that), but it JUST SO HAPPENED to have some handy material about the Funk and its history. Clearly I wasn’t the only one to have become aware of it. So I took out all the books they had about it and set to work (Cue Iron Man construction music). I slaved night and day to fit every last scrap of information into the bigger picture, but finally I realised the truth about the Funk – the fact that everything Funky in the world had received that Funk from a single point. Not directly, perhaps, but spread across the world like Swine Flu. And that the Source of the Funk was a person. The Funk came into our dimension by channelling through someone’s body, like the Catalyst from Heroes or the Time Vortex from the first series of Doctor Who (cripes, that was ages ago!).
Suddenly, as what we now know to be the fateful hour drew nearer, the answer dawned on me. I’d like to think that for a moment there I possessed some incredible power of foresight, but it was probably just coincidence. So, resolved, I zipped up my super-suit and blasted off to the United States. I don’t know what I expected to find, perhaps just some confirmation that the Funk really existed.

Anyway, I’m not even going to pretend to know what happened that night.

What they say on the news is probably right; I was halfway across the Atlantic when it happened. But I can only assume that, as the life of yet another icon, perhaps the icon of the music world was tragically snuffed out, the enormous energy which he had stored within his body was released, and pure Funk fountained into the air. Most people would never have noticed the invisible release; even now I can’t say for sure whether I was touched by it. But one way or another, it’s some other guy, or girl’s job now. Some newborn baby which will one day grow up to be the next embodiment of the Funk.
As it happened, I had my own problems at the time – I think the sudden fluctuation in the world’s Funk levels may have played havoc with my super-powers, and I found myself falling out of the sky towards the cold, merciless ocean below. Conveniently enough, that was when I blacked out…

OOOOH, a cliffhanger! I love cliffhangers! Essentially, it just gives me an excuse to do something I’ve wanted to do for a while, but you’ll soon find out what that means!
I’ll do a round-up of all the latest comings and goings in the world soon, but, importantly, the news on everyone’s lips at the moment is the death of Michael Jackson. I’ll be honest, I was never a huge fan of his music. Thriller was alright, and a few others. But anyone who has achieved the amount of stuff he did in his life gets a very well-earned tasty slice of my respect pie.
Anyway, enjoy the cake, and check back very soon for a resumption of normal service, post 101, and something quite new as well…

I’ll give you a clue: Barcelona! :->

See ya 'round!

Jack