Fighting the Vampires

Hey everyone.
The thing that's bugging me most at the moment is Twilight. Yes, I know, I've extolled its virtues many times before, but after much thought I am sure of one thing: Every guy in the world must hate the Twilight films. Think about it. Back in 2007, it was perfectly acceptable to be normal. To be imperfect. To be human. I mean, there was Daniel Craig for the dads to aspire to, but Harry and Ron never had a fan-girl following, did they??
And then Twilight comes along. Suddenly being average is not okay. Suddenly the female gender starts to compare everyone they see to the supposed demigods Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Even Mike Newton looked quite handsome. Suddenly you have to be an Edward Cullen clone just to have any chance of getting a girl to notice you. And those who know me will know that I'm the least Cullen-est of potential Cullens. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's not a problem. Maybe out there in the real world every man is the very image of perfection, and when you leave school all your faults just evaporate and you become another generic model.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the books and I could see why the film was good... sort of... but you can't deny that the romantic livelihoods of the male gender collectively went into a tailspin the moment Pattinson stepped onscreen. Any slim chance I may have had of getting someone to love me has officially been obliterated for the next ten years or so. I know girls have had the same issue for many, many more years, and I don't want to seem insensitive. On the contrary, I'm only just realising how extreme the pressure is. It's like, everywhere I go, Pattinson's cold eyes are staring back at me, saying "I am the best. You are nothing. Just try and be like me."

So yeah, I guess what I'm saying is: Body image has become a guy problem too.

And I hate Vampires.

Jack